


Lady D.

by Cindy_Svensson



Series: You annoy me (don't stop). [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 03:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cindy_Svensson/pseuds/Cindy_Svensson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony can play nice... Sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady D.

Tony had during the early stages of yesterday’s party invited everyone to eat breakfast with him and Pepper. Most of the guests were passed out in the living room or guest rooms, but some had made it into the kitchen and sat down at the enormous table. Clint was passed out on the kitchen island which divided the kitchen and the eating area, and someone or some people who shall remain nameless – Tony and Happy – had painted a bull’s-eye on his forehead.

Tony tried to be a gentleman and not notice the way Lady D couldn’t even walk from the kitchen counter to the table without wobbling, or that she looked more sleep deprived than any other Avenger, dwarf or significant other at the table. He really did try. He even stuffed his face full of toast, having promised Pepper to try to be on his best behavior. But when he offered his girlfriend strawberry yogurt, having forgotten she was allergic to the berry, Tony realized he needed to distract himself and everyone else from the way Pepper was glaring at him.

“So, Lady D, who’s been rubbing up against your shield?”

This comment made the woman spit out her toast and Steve choke on his cereal. Knowing the Cap, that was probably just because he was old fashioned, not because he had gotten lucky. And oh, Tony might have used the shield as euphemism to make people think Steve was the culprit.

“Wha- what? I- I don’t… What?”

Her words slow and face red, the dark haired woman was at a loss for words. Her eyes darted around the table, taking count of who was there. Tony could see the relief in her eyes when she didn’t find who she was looking for and hesitantly settled her eyes on Tony’s face instead.

“I don’t know- Wait, what did you just call me?”

Half the table, including Steve, Nat, Lady Sif, Dr. Foster, the-completely-not-hung-over-sine-he-didn’t-dare-to-drink Bruce and a bunch of dwarves were now very invested in the conversation, while the other half continued to look half dead. Apparently Tony was the only one who knew how to hold his liquor.

“Can’t remember your name; just know that Thor introduced you as Lady D-something.”

“How can you”, a yawning interrupted her question, “talk sooo fast? I saw you frink loads. _drink_ , loads, yesterday. Or was it today? It might have been really early. When, eh, when, did the party stop? Or wait, is it still on? I recall you saying something about renting a theme park?”

Clearly the chick talked a lot when trying to avoid a subject. Most of their audience had turned back to their breakfast, some stealing glances at Steve’s or Darcy’s red face.  
“I just noticed, with my brilliant deductions skills, that you can’t walk straight and that your lips look twice as big as yesterday. So you got laid. Did he chew on them? They look chewed on.”

Lady D stared daggers at him, trying to get him to shut up, when her eyes suddenly widened in horror at something behind him.

Not needing to turn to see who it was, considering everyone on the opposite side of Tony stiffened before relaxing, Tony simply said; “You left your book under the living room table, Professor Snape,” before he heard a unhappy grunt and surprisingly light footsteps disappear. The God wanna be had actually taken part of the celebrations yesterday instead of hiding in his room as usual, leaving the book he had intended to “borrow” from Tony’s private collection when mead was put in his hand.

Tony could tell that right now Lady D didn’t just look cautious like most people did around Loki, but also slightly humiliated. Tony caught her eyes and raised a questioning eye brown. He could see the answer on her face and his mind was immediately busy trying to come up with something funny to say about hard scepters and caves.

But right before Tony was about to reveal his discovery to the entire room, pleading blue eyes meet his and he. Just. Couldn’t. Do it.

People liked to call him a prick, and yes, some of those sexual harassment convictions were actually true and caused by Tony commenting on short skirts and push up bras, but he wasn’t evil. He knew not everyone had the same thick skin he had, and being known as the woman who slept with Loki would probably be a reputation Lady D couldn’t bear. Hell, Tony just might have considered moving and changing identity if he had been the one who ended up with bed in Loki and it got out. Just the idea made Tony shiver, so he gave the woman a grave nod to show he wouldn’t tell.

_‘Note to self, keep working on a chastity belt that is comfortable and recognizes when I’m about to get into bed with someone who’s not Pepper.’_

“And yes. I rented Disney for tomorrow. Just a dinner tonight, since I figured everyone would be hung over today.”

He hadn’t actually rented Disney or planned a dinner, but he thought he could swing something. And the gratitude on the other brunette’s face was priceless.

“So anyway, what’s your name?”

Tony didn’t know it yet, but he had just won the lifelong loyalty of one Darcy Lewis.


End file.
